abker17

[url]http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/6174/h--anima.html[/url]

Here is the website I got the jokes from, I really like The Official Dog Enthusiast's DON'T List, there are a lot of cat jokes too.

Mind games dogs play with humans 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime. 2. Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.) 3. Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about. 4. Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth. 5. Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo'. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag. 6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by. 7. Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while. 8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears). 9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door. 10. Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that damned stupid lamp! Rottweiler: Make me. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark...... Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got this hangover..... Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.... Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.... Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb? Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz German Shepherd: I'm not trained to change bulbs, just to guard the house. So don't try anything! Cat: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So the question is pointless. I thought this was pretty cute! :D

Aw, what a nice thing of U to do mouse! In 6th grade at our Middle School, U get to do a unit on dogs. The school has breeders come in a talk to the kids, and U learn a lot about the ididorod(sp?) next year I'm hoping to give a presentation to the 6th graders on animal abuse and what they can do to stop it. I'm normally very shy, but when it comes to educating others about animal abuse I can over come that.

Ugh! Once I made Abby some tuna treats, and I sware my house smelled like tuna for the next three days. It was awful, the treats looked nasty and the smell was un-bearable. :-?

I think the kong, and buster cube are probably the best dog toys out there. Dog toys are seeming to get boring now a days though. :-? We just got Abby this cute toy ball, that when she chews on it, the air inside is forced out and it squeks(sp?) then when she lets go of the ball, it almost instantly inflates again! I t is very cool and Abby plays with it a lot more than any other toy. I'll have to post some pics of her prancing around with it in her mouth, it's so cute! :)

Oh, yes and please cross post this widely!

I found this site while searching for Greyhound pics. Please scroll down to where it says "Your Help Is Needed" and sign the petition. It is to stop the horrible abuse of dogs, mostly sighthounds, in Spain. *WARNING* PLEASE DO NOT LOOK AT THE PHOTOS OR CLICK ON ANYTHING THAN WHAT I'VE TOLD U TO CLICK ON UNLESS U THINK U CAN HANDLE IT, BUT I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT NO ONE LOOK AT THE PHOTOS, WHAT I SAW WILL HAUNT ME FOR A VERY LONG TIME!!!!! :( Here is the site: [url]http://www.sexy-barcelona.net/animals/archive.htm[/url]

Oh, Shara please don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone loves U here, and it pains us that U are in so much pain. Hazel knows that U loved her, and U tried U're best to provide for her. I suggest that U sit down and draw. Just sit down and f*****g draw U're heart out. Draw what U feel, U don't have to show it to us, or anybody for that matter. It can be very good relief for a person to let feelings out through words or drawings. Things are bound to look up soon. Please do not give up on yourself. We will always be here for U!

[quote]abker, do you need to join?[/quote] I hope not, I don't want to join a group of @$$holes like that, but I will if that's the only way [size=1]to bash some heads[/size] I mean "educate"

I can't figure out how to reply! :oops: :x I want to [size=1]bash some heads[/size] I mean "educate" How do I reply? :boom:

I don't know about U guys, but I'm going over there right now to "educate" :evilbat: :evilbat: :evilbat:

PLEASE LET US GO "EDUCATE" THESE PEOPLE!!!! :wink: I feel like I need your permission before I go [size=1]bash some dumb@$$ heads into the ground[/size] *cough* *cough* I mean go educate some people. :wink:

What jerks!!! :evil: I agree with Rowie, let's go over there and give those @$$holes a piece of our minds!!! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: I send lots of hugs to U, Shara! :)

YAY!! I can see your pretty pup now! :D She is very beautiful! :)

When U click on male dogs, the words 'game bred' followes the curser! What bad people! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

Books, tv, HERE, mostly. I have so many dog books that I'm not gonna name them all. Also, I've read all the dog books at our school library. My favorite book is So Your Dog's Not Lassie.

Hilarious! :laugh2_2: :roflt: :laugh2_2: :roflt: :laugh2_2: :roflt:

Oh, I'm sorry U missed us Mouse! :( Maybe tommorow?

We got my dad a double chocolate cake and a card from each of us (my sister and I) Hope everyone had a good father's day! :D :D

I love happy endings! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Anyone that would like to chat come to [url]www.hungryhound.com/forum[/url] now!!! :D

Go ahead... U can find some really good ones on Google! :D

I can't see your pup's coat Courtnec! It says oops U have to visit care2.com photo album to view this image! :( :(