mouseatthebusstop

taken from the Schnauzer breeder from hell **RING** I look up from my dinner. Who would call the Schnauzer Breeder From Hell at suppertime? I check the caller id. It's a local call. No mercy. Had they called from different time zone, I might have considered commuting their sentence... "Yes." Hello is too good for this loser. This should be the first hint. "Yeah, is this the lady who has Schnauzers? Someone gave me your number... I'm calling about a stud." Uh huh. This loser doesn't know my name, but wants to use one of my studs? I'm just about to pick up the whistle I keep on hand for obscene callers, when I hear words I hadn't expected. "I have a stud. I thought you might want to use him." But of course! Whatever was I thinking? I put down my plate. Time to trade in my salad for some fresh meat. "You do? Please! Tell me more about him." "He's got papers. We're charging $75 but we might take a pup if there's a good one in there. If my plan is going to succeed, I must first win his friendship. "Oh my goodness, I could never sleep at night having paid you so little. I wouldn't dream of paying less than $125." "Really?" "Absolutely. Actually, some people charge $150 for studding their Schnauzers." I hear the skin on his cheeks snap into an idiot grin. "Ok. But for you I'll charge $125, though, ok? When do you want to use him? Got anything ready now? We'd really like to get some pups outa him." "You mean he's never been used before?" I let a long moment of silence pass before continuing, my voice grave. "I hope you've checked him for T.E.S.S." "What tests? He's got his shots." "No, I said TESS T - E - S - S." There's a little hesitation in his voice now. "Tess?" "Testicular Ecstatic Seizure Syndrome." I whisper it into the receiver. "Huh? What's that?" "Breeding fits. Kind of like a seizure, except it hits them in the rear first. They sort of lose control. It's an awful thing to see. Awful thing... You mean nobody told you?" "er....no?" *sigh* "They never do. You're lucky you talked to me then, eh? I may might have saved your dog from a convulsion or worse..." I let that sink in for a moment. First you herd them into the tunnel, then you turn on the light... "But there's a couple of tests you can do to check for it... easy stuff." "Yeah? tests?" (He's coming in like a bug to a zapper...) "You can do them yourself. First you get a female that's ready for breeding, bring your stud in and watch what happens. You have to watch really close...but keep him on a leash so you can get him out of there if you have to." "Ok" "Watch your stud real close, and if he starts to chatter his teeth a little, well that's a danger sign. The first thing to start him off in a breeding fit is that teeth chattering thing... are you writing this down?" "Ok" "Next thing to do is watch how excited he gets. If he starts scrambling around and won't listen to you, then that's another danger sign. If he does that, get him outa there fast. Let him settle down for a few days. Maybe a week. Then try again. If he still does it, well, he's gonna need an operation." "An operation?". I can hear the profit margin calculations being adjusted. "Oh yeah, you can cure TESS real easy. Just get your dog in right away to the vet for an operation." "You sure? I mean, operations can be kinda expensive..." "Not as expensive as buying another dog, eh? Besides, if anybody gets even a hint that your dog has TESS, they won't use him. No way. Who wants to waste time on a dog that dies before the job gets done, eh?" "I never thought about it that way. You got a good point there...." "Yup. So, this is what you do. You go to your vet and tell him you want him to do a Vasek Tummy operation. Write that down...Va-sek-Tum-my "Yup, got it. Ok, thanks." "Wait, for crying out loud, that isn't all!" "No?" "If your vet gets any idea that you want to be studding your dog, he's not gonna do it. So, no matter what he says, tell him you don't ever want to stud that dog. NEVER." "Huh?" "And don't breathe a word about the TESS. For sure he won't do it then." "Why not?" "Vets are funny that way. If they find out you want to fix up a dog with TESS for breeding, they won't let you do it. So they won't do that Vasek Tummy operation." "Oh. Ok. Now I get this." "Good. Hey, and good luck, eh? Be sure to call me back and tell me how it went. I like to know about vets who do good Vasek Tummy surgeries. There's lots of people like you out there." "Thanks. Thanks for your help. I'll be sure to do that." "No need to thank me" I take out a steak knife and carve another notch in the idiot stick. "The opportunity to help others is the only thanks I need." copyright 2000, Catherine McMillan

[quote]By the way mouse, your signature picture is soo cute[/quote] Thanks Rusty&Chip pity it took me until Christamas eve to get the photo I wanted I try Tiggie first but she wouldn't keep the hat on for a second I got one of Paddy but thought this one of Gladis was better [img]http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid151/p111483b811777844d408adbd35beb1ae/f5cc75b3.jpg[/img]

I will never own any other breed than a shar-pei I like to have a nice sized dog on the other end of the lead

I FEED PROFESSIONAL CHOICE I GET IT DELIVED IT GETS MIXED WITH A LITTLE TINNED DOG FOOD THE MEAT CHUNKS IN JELLY TYPE BECAUSE I WORK FULL TIME I FIND IT EASER

go back to your vet and ask about ulcers you could try feeding some plain bio yougart

I think you should see a vet as soon as possible sounds like an infection to me. the vet will give you eye drops and also check the puppy over let us know how you get on

THEY ARE ALL THE SAME THERE IS A LOT OF SPOILT DOGS AROUND HERE

[size=6][color=red]MOST MEMBERS HERE AGREE WITH SPAYING DOGS WE ARE NOT HERE TO FIND YOU A STUD OR ADVERTIST A LITTER PLEASE READ FORUM RULES[/color][/size]

loverly photo :)

I voted for [size=6][color=blue]Casey D' Cannonball Express[/color][/size]

that was loverly - I have seen Jacky Lawson's cards before they are all loverly

I am pleased you had a good time Carol singer around here just give the first line of "we wish you a merry chritmas and a happy new year" they then expect to get paid

I am not too happy about the puppy tied near a pillow have you a room were the lease damage can be done?

TAKEN FROM DOG AGE [color=red]Just because they're hidden in wrappers and boxes, don't assume that chocolate confections are inaccessible to your dog. Chocolate can be poisonous to your dog, even when ingested in small amounts, and your dog can still smell chocolate even if it's hidden in wrappers or packaging. Tuck packaged treats away so your curious pet can't tear into them when left unsupervised. If you notice any signs of chocolate ingestion

she is loverly :lol:

thanks I will have a try :)

do you show Ilsa Well Done Daddy :lol:

I am sorry -poor BK Dad bet didn't want to worry you

thanks for the tip Doberfanatic I want to take a cute chrismas photo of Tiggie

No They have their dishes we have ours. Any left over food will go into their dish

Try to enjoy his last months(or hopefully longer) I know it's hard when you know the end can come anytime

good photos :)

when he woke up did he run around like normal A puppy with a tempature does not want to play or eat

I cannot help you. They all sound loverly

sorry to hear Abby has a sore foot I hope it is better tomorrow