Losing my foster dog...

[Bubblezzz]

I lurk a lot more than I post here :oops: so I do know that some members here foster dogs. How do you cope when they find homes?

I'll be losing my first foster girl in about half a month. I'm so happy and sad at the same time, it's hard to describe what it feels like emotionally. :oops: A part of me doesn't want to let her go. I've thought about changing my mind and keeping her for myself at least a couple of hundred times.

And I worry about how my only baby will take to suddenly being alone again. :(

I know that she has a better home now, a forever one, where she'll be the top dog in her new family's hearts. And then I feel guilty about not loving her as much as I do Cosmic. Or else I'd keep her in a heartbeat right? :oops: I know I'm being crazy, but I can't help it. She was never meant to be mine - but she doesn't know that. :cry: Will she think that she's being dumped again/ Will she forgive me? Will she miss us?

When she first came, she was so scared of so many things. Now, when we call her to us, she bounds to us, tail wagging and absolute trust in her eyes. She lets me carry her - and she looks at me like she understands everything I'm trying to tell her. And now I'm giving her up. :cry:

And I feel guilty about the next dog that's coming to me to take her place. Is it always going to feel like that with fostering? :( It's so much harder than I thought it would be.

[JackieMaya]

I have SO much respect for those of you who foster dogs. I know that I could never do it. I don't think that I would be able to let them go. But thanks to people like you who do foster dogs, they can get a huge head start on socialization that they wouldn't be able to get at a shelter. I adopted all three of my dogs from a shelter where all the animals are in foster homes until they're adopted, no matter how long that takes.

So a big thank you for what you do! :thumbs:

[imported_Kat]

Fostering is great to do and I know what you mean about being emotional when its time to let go. Just take a lot at the dog though now and look back to what he was like when you first set eyes on him... every picture tells a story and your hard work has now paid off in getting the dog a forever home. I know its hard for me too and a lot of others. The hardest ones are actually the orphan puppies that I get when they are just maybe a few hours old, helpless and very dependent on me. When I am able to hand that wriggly bouncy pup to his new home, I know that those 2 hourly feeds were worthwhile :wink:

[Guest Anonymous]

This is a poem that got me through when I was feeling the same way. I read it 4 years ago and still when I get a foster that has a tight hold on my heart I read it and I remember that the next foster dog will give me yet another piece of their heart and it makes it a bit easier.



Little Piece of My Heart
Written by Grace Saalsaa for those who foster and give pieces of their hearts so another may see another sunrise.




Melissa sat on the floor, unable to sit straight and tall like her mother had always admonished her to do when she was a child. Today, it would be impossible. And tomorrow....it probably wouldn't be possible then either. Her mind was too busy thinking about the dog that laid across her lap.

When he came to be with her, he had no name. She remembered that day very well. The first sight of him was enough to break her heart into little pieces.

The woman who had taken this dog from the rough streets where he had lived, had tried to save him because she was unable to watch this young dog find his own food in a dumpster outside the crack house where he lived. Nobody cared that he was gone.

His fur was very thick, so thick that she had to wiggle her fingers down to feel his bony body. And as she pulled her fingers away again, they were coated in old dirt. He was supposed to be white, but on that day he was beige and dusty.

He sat in the back of her car panting continuously, ears laid backward for he had lost his courage and couldn't keep them proud and tall. He sat motionless, waiting and limp.

But the thing that was the most disturbing was the look in his eyes. They were quiet eyes, sunken into his head -and they watched her. They were alive with thought. He was waiting for her to do something "to" him.

Little did he know at the time that, instead, she would "give" something to him. She gave him one of the little broken pieces of her heart.

She reached out to stroke his head and he instinctively squinched his eyes shut and dropped his head, waiting for the heavy hand. With that little bit of movement she gave him another one of the broken pieces of her heart.

She took him home and gave him a bath. She toweled him dry and brushed some order back into his coat. For that, he was grateful and even though his own heart was loaded with worms, he accepted yet another piece of her heart, for it would help to heal his own.

"Would you like some water, big boy?" she whispered to him as she set down a large bowl of cold well water. He drank it up happily. He had been dehydrated for a long time and she knew it would take him most of the week to re-hydrate.

He wanted more water - but it was gone. Ah...that's how it is, he thought to himself. But he was grateful for what he had been able to get. "Would you like some more?" and she gave him another bowl along with another little piece of her heart.

"I know that you are hungry. You don't have to find your own food anymore. Here's a big bowl of good food for you. I've added some warm water and a little piece of my heart."

Over the four months that he stayed with her, his health improved. The heart full of worms was replaced piece by piece with little bits of her loving heart. And each little piece worked a very special kind of magic.

When the warmth of love and gentle caresses are added, the little broken pieces knit together again and heal the container it resides in. That container becomes whole again.

She watched each little broken piece fill a gap in the gentle dog until his quiet eyes radiated the light from the little pieces. You see, kind words gently spoken, turn the little pieces into illumination for the spirit that resides within.

He rested beside her, happy to be with her always. Never had he known such kindness, such gentle caresses; such love. His health had returned, his spirit was playful as a young dog's should be and he had learned about love.

Now his heart was full. The healing was complete. It was time to go. There was another person who had another heart that was meant to be shared with him.

So she sat shapeless on the floor because all the broken pieces of her heart were with the dog. It is difficult to sit tall when your heart is not with you. She wrapped her arms around the dog who sat with tall, proud ears for her. Lean on me, he said.

And she gave him one last thing that would keep him strong; that would keep the pieces of her heart together long after he had gone on to live his new life. She gave him her tears and bound them to the pieces with a simple statement made from the ribbons of her heart.

"I love you, Champ." And Champ* lived happily ever after.

Melissa sat on the floor, straight and tall like her mother had always admonished her to do when she was a child. Today, it would be possible. And tomorrow....it probably would be possible too. Because her mind was busy thinking about this, the next dog that laid across her lap.

Where did she get the heart to help yet another dog, you ask?

Ahhh....it came with the dog. They always bring a little bit of heart with them. And when the rescuer breathes in that little bit of heart, it quickly grows and fills the void left by the last dog.

*name changed

[JackieMaya]

That's beautiful! It made me cry!

[ObedienceGrrl]

Someone once told me that rescuing is the 'sweetest heartache you will ever know'

I loved it.....and I live it.

It's what keeps you going. Knowing how much you have helped one....and now, you have the room in your home and heart to help another. To show another what it is like to be loved and wanted.

[Bubblezzz]

Thanks for the lovely story and your kind words. :)

Ahhh....it came with the dog. They always bring a little bit of heart with them.

I'll remember this and know that it's true. I never expected to feel this way, but she brought so much love with her. :) And I know she still has so much more to give.

When she leaves, another dog will fill her place in my home, but I know that in her own sweet way, she'll forgive me. :)

[Horsefeathers!]

To be honest, some dogs you hate to "lose" and then there are those you will be glad to see go. :oops:

Just meaning that some are easy and some are... a handful. :wink:

I'm the world's worst at not wanting to let go, but I finally had to get a grip on the reality that, as my resources are maxed, I'm depriving other dogs of an opportunity for a second chance when I can't take any more in. I would love to just keep them all (I've never fostered a dog I didn't fall in love with... even the ones I was glad to see go). In a way, I think we tend to over-analyze and think that no one else will ever be able to love and care for the dog the way WE do, but the dogs usually adjust just fine. It's something I'm still coming to terms with, but I'm getting there. My most recent foster, Peaches, is the absolute apple of my eye. I will be heartbroken if she ever does find the perfect forever home, but by the same token, my immense love for her is why I know she'd do much better in a less chaotic (fewer animals) home where she could be the center of someone's attention. I hate the very thought of losing her, but I love her enough to let her go to the right home.

It's never easy "losing" them, but you eventually learn to let them go and look forward to the next challenge. It's kind of bittersweet when you see them doing so well in their forever homes... kind of like you're glad they're doing well, and secretly a little jealous that they're doing so well without you. We want them to do well and we want them to miss us at the same time. :oops:

[Bubblezzz]

I know she'd do much better in a less chaotic (fewer animals) home where she could be the center of someone's attention.

This is what I've been telling myself. In my case, I only have the 2 of them - my own boy, Cosmic & then my foster girl, Tywce. It's hard to imagine how she's "got to me" in just the 3 1/2 months I've had her. :) I never thought I'd REALLY love her :oops: like that - I know it sounds awful, but she isn't like the usual dog I'd go for at all. I love the really "doggy" dogs - the clumsy, eternally happy and in-your-face ones that make your heart melt.

Twyce is the complete opposite. She's so gentle and shy and demure. She was so painfully insecure in the first month we had her. :-? And stupid me, :oops: I thought to myself that it's a good thing she wasn't more like Cosmic, and that it wouldn't be so hard to let her go. And now that she's leaving, I almost can't stand it. :cry: