imported_Kat Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 The situation between my Dad and I not talking escalated last night in style. I think its fair to say that the sh*t really hit the fan big time! :o It started when my Mum cornered me when I came in from work after doing a 12-9 shift and I really wasn't in the form. She told me this situation had to stop and I needed to talk to him. She then broke down in tears and told me she was so worried about me because I've lost a lot of weight through the stress of the past few weeks and I've been so unhappy. She said she was scared and that I was going to kill myself if I went on like this and that the stress was like a disease just eating me up inside. Shes right. I know shes right and thats what makes me hurt even more. :sadCyber: She made me talk to my Dad which ended up in a blame game and resolved nothing and the issue of me getting a puppy came up with him saying a flat out no with no reasoning. I lost it then and threw all that I had at him about didn't he think I was responsible enough or didn't i deserve my own puppy and haven't i proved that I am a good dog owner and trainer by my reputation. I told him not to be surprised when I arrive home with my new puppy when I get back from Texas and that was the end of the yelling match. Today he spoke a few words to me which is more civil than hes been and we went out for a family dinner tonight which loosened the tension I think. Mum came up to my room tonight and told me don't give up hope. I said hope for what and she said you know what; we're talking about animals here. Shes going to talk to my Dad when I'm away but shes on my side now fully which helps a lot. It does give me hope in a way because i would rather have his blessing and well wishes when i bring a puppy into our house. I feel like i don't have a life and I spilled all my emotions out last night. I need something to help me be motivated to get up in the morning and most importantly to be happy and a puppy will be the only solution. Paws crossed for the next few weeks that he will give his consent. It would make things so much easier. :puppydogeyes: Quote
Horsefeathers! Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 I hope it works out, Kat. :( What is his opposition? I mean, is it just a control thing with him? It seems to me like you've proven yourself to be responsible and, for crying out loud, it's not like you're 15 years old (no offense to the teens here... just saying that, regarding teens, I give parents a lot more weight to make the decisions regarding a new pet coming into the house... not trying to stir debate... it's JMO). I know it's "his" house and all that (I assume), but one would hope he would reach a point where he'd realize that you are an adult and that it isn't of any benefit to either of you for him to be so controlling. Good luck with this. Maybe it's time to consider a change of residence? Some people are able to be much closer with some distance between them, if that makes any sense. :( Quote
courtnek Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 without realizing it you did exactly what needed to be done. Myself and others suggested it. he now knows how you feel,and with training in psychology I can sense that he is breaking down a little. he is a controlling personality, and when you flat out said "I'm bringing a puppy home" he realized he has lost his control. your mom backing you up is icing on the cake (moms are good at that). I think from here it will be downhill. you needed to stand up and say "ENOUGH", and you did. he will give in, trust me. he wants control over everything, and everybody, but he's not willing to lose you in the contest. pm me if you want. My dad was like this, I understand, trust me... 8) Quote
CincoandDahlilasgirl Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Beleive it or not Kat I just went thru this. Reading your post pretty much plays out to be what I did. Except I went my mom 1st. With my best friend moving away to South Carolina(from Wisconsin) and another friend was supposed to move to St. Louie this summer and I found out in November but she's not anymore as of today. Plus all my "close" cousins that cared enough to know that I was alive moved to CA,Kansas and Arizona. All this among other things...At the time (still do) I felt that getting a dog for me and a playmate for Dahlila would help me and it has. Cinco's the 1st face I see in the morning and the last I see atnight(sleeps in my room) so I say a dog will definatly help. Also my dad was against it until he found out all shelter expences(neuter,shelter care,adoption fee) would be coming out of my allowance that I was saving since my bday and saw how upset Dahlila was when the neighbor dog whent home. My mom wanted 2 dogs, I wanted 2 and Dahlila wanted a play mate so he couldn't say no and when he saw Cinco he fell in love. Quote
BuddysMom Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Wow you are brave for standing up to Dad and you are totally in the right. Sounds like he is coming around to that realization. Look forward to pics of your new pup whenever he or she arrives! Quote
imported_Kat Posted April 10, 2005 Author Posted April 10, 2005 HF yep you gussed it, its a control thing. My Dad was brought up with strict parents and a very strict father who always had the final say and my Nanny never argued with my Papa. This is however another generation of course and times change and my Mum isn't a wee meek mild thing. She is strong and believes that he shouldn't have the final say. Shes talking to Dad now and I hope to be posting pics of my own wee Border collie puppy who will be called Kes (Kestrel) in a few weeks when I get back from Texas. I'm now just thinking of a brilliant kc registered name. The pet name I've had picked out since I was in 1st year of school. We read a book called Kes that was about a boy who tamed and trained a kestrel and I have always loved the name. :D For the registered name I have to think a little bit harder, but perhaps something like "Worth the risk". Have to think of something that will go well with obedience/agility champion before the name 8) Quote
ObedienceGrrl Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 I sure hope things work out for you, Kat. Keep us updated with the very latest info!! Quote
Lucky Chaos Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Good luck! I hope you get your dream puppy, you certainly deserve it. I love that name too, its so pretty. Quote
BuddysMom Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Kat, sorry if I missed it but will Kes be a male or female (or not sure yet?) Just curious. Quote
JackieMaya Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Good luck, Kat! Having your mom on your side is a huge benefit, and it sounds like your dad will give in. Have a great time in Texas, and I'll be looking forward to pics of your new puppy, Kes! Quote
courtnek Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Kat napisał(a):HF yep you gussed it, its a control thing. My Dad was brought up with strict parents and a very strict father who always had the final say and my Nanny never argued with my Papa. This is however another generation of course and times change and my Mum isn't a wee meek mild thing. She is strong and believes that he shouldn't have the final say. Shes talking to Dad now and I hope to be posting pics of my own wee Border collie puppy who will be called Kes (Kestrel) in a few weeks when I get back from Texas. I'm now just thinking of a brilliant kc registered name. The pet name I've had picked out since I was in 1st year of school. We read a book called Kes that was about a boy who tamed and trained a kestrel and I have always loved the name. :D For the registered name I have to think a little bit harder, but perhaps something like "Worth the risk". Have to think of something that will go well with obedience/agility champion before the name 8) How about "Took a Chance"? Quote
imported_Kat Posted April 12, 2005 Author Posted April 12, 2005 DO who can resist a tiny ball of fluff :wink: Kes is going to be a female. :wink: The show name is a little bit harder and i have a page filled with names by my bed! A few examples so far and Tudor Rose will be in front or after the name as its the name of our house. :wink: Takin' a risk at Tudor Rose Worth the risk at Tudor Rose Tudor Rose Paradise Passion Tudor Rose Eternal passion Tudor Rose Eternal Hope Any suggestion is welcome. I want something bold and possibly meaning risk or jeopardy in her name :wink: Quote
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