A fear of dogs

[Guest Mutts4Me]

This is going to sound like an utterly ridiculous question, but if someone who was afraid of dogs (as in deathly afraid) were to decide to get a dog, would you suggest a small dog or a bigger dog?

Common sense instantly tells me "small," but I'm not really sure.

I think humans tend to be afraid of things smaller than themselves. Harmless insects are greeted with terror. As are toads and frogs, who wouldn't dream of hurting a person, just hopping away. Rodents such as hamsters, gerbils, and rats are "icky," even pets who are disease free and actually very friendly. Even I am a little bit afraid of birds. Why are all these things scary? We could literally crush most of them with our own hands or feet (not that I promote that kind of thing).

Personally, I would expect someone to be better able to "relate" with a larger animal. I could be biased, as I do have pictures of me holding hands with cougars and lions ;) But I also tend to think of smaller dogs as being more active (which could be nerve-wracking), and louder (more intimidating). Larger dogs are often more laid back and slower, more of a couch potato than a skittish, egotisitical maniac.

Now, I'm not saying someone scared of dogs should go out and buy a Rottweiler (in fact, I don't think someone afraid of dogs should own a dog), nor am I saying that all small dogs are scary little beasts. But I just don't think it's so easy as a size issue alone.

Anyone else?

The ? is prompted by the news that my former boss, who is terrified of anything not human, is going to adopt a coworker's Chihuahua that needs to be rehomed. Her reasoning is that she's moving to a new house, and she's not too fond of the neighborhood. She sleeps soundly, and wants something to wake her up if someone were to come to (or in) the door.

I think this is a horrible idea, personally. One time, the owner of the place brought her Chihuahua into the office. My boss opened the door into that area, saw the Chi, bolted backwards, slammed the door, and refused to go back up there until the "rat" was contained in a different room. She's also refused to step foot outside because a stray cat was on her porch.

But she's getting a Chihuahua. A dog that I personally know, and while he is not mean by any standard, he is loud, and he screams rather than barks at people. I have little doubt that by the time the trial weekend is up, the dog will be going back home. As I'm very fond of my boss, I don't want to tell her it's a stupid idea, and the fact that the Chi owner is a close friend of the family also prevents me from stepping in, so the question isn't about what I should or should not do. It's about a fear of dogs.

Anyone have experience in the matter?

(Edit: It is not required to tell me how horrible the above situation is. Trust me, I know. But the Chi is going to be on a trial visit and is not in danger. 'Twas not intended to be the focus of this thread, just a crazy thing that happened in my life.

This thread, while prompted by this situation, is really about a question I've considered now and then for quite some time. What's the best approach to take when confronting someone's fear of dogs? Jumping into owning on is definitely a bad idea, yes. But in general, do you think it'd be better to introduce such a person to gentle giants or happy little lapdogs?)

[courtnek]

oh Mutts, this is going to sound harsh, but if she doesnt like dogs, she shouldnt get one. If she wants to be woken up, she should get an electroinc security system. Chi's need love, and time, and training, like any dog. Without it they become the little "yappy" brats that everyone bitches about. I dont think a big dog will help, in fact, if hse doesnt like animals she probably wont take it to training, and then its an even bigger issue than a small dog. Big dogs leave bigger wounds, when untrained.

This is a bad idea, IMHO. sorry if that sounds harsh.

:o

[__crazy_canine__]

I agree with Court on the whole thing but just to answer your question...

I would have to say that a big dog like a Newfie, or a St.B etc, would sound perfect.

You really need to tell this person to NOT get that dog though... shell never end up keeping it.

[BuddysMom]

I agree with everyone else here (and you!) Mutts4Me ... the worst part is, as you said you can't tell them what a horrible idea you (and we all) think it is ... How about some advice reminiscent of Dear Abbey? Could you print out your letter (or maybe the whole thread) and share it with your boss and friend, in a friendly way?

I realize the sensitivities and that it may not be possible ... just a suggestion.

[Guest Mutts4Me]

[quote name='courtnek']oh Mutts, this is going to sound harsh, but if she doesnt like dogs, she shouldnt get one. If she wants to be woken up, she should get an electroinc security system. Chi's need love, and time, and training, like any dog. Without it they become the little "yappy" brats that everyone bitches about. I dont think a big dog will help, in fact, if hse doesnt like animals she probably wont take it to training, and then its an even bigger issue than a small dog. Big dogs leave bigger wounds, when untrained.

This is a bad idea, IMHO. sorry if that sounds harsh.

Let me clarify this to Everyone, in case I didn't make myself clear in the first post: No, Court, it isn't harsh, it's fact. I don't support this arrangement at all.

I just found out about it last night, and this morning, I went down to work (I don't work there any more) to "confront" my former boss about it. She's taking the dog (it's a full grown Chi, not a puppy) home for the weekend. She lives with her college-age son, who loves dogs and will be there to help take care of it/play with it). This is a trial situation, which - if I came off as not being over concerned, is why. If it doesn't work out, I've no doubt the owner will take the dog back from her boss (it'd be a tricky situation at work if she didn't, don'tcha think ;)) and rehome him elsewhere. Otherwise, her son will I'm sure be happy to finally have a dog, even if it's a lot smaller than he wanted.

So *ahem* I do appreciate the concern, but if I can just assure folks that Buster is not going to end up locked up and neglected for the rest of his life, could the focus please go back to the hypotheitcal question? Pretty please 8)

And if anyone can bring real-life experience into it, that would be great... like if you've helped someone get over their fear of dogs, or know someone who has, etc. Not because I'm going to try and help this woman over her fear of dogs... I've been walking Sasha down there at lunch time for years, and she still panicks when she sees her ;)

[BuddysMom]

1. Sorry I didn't catch the first time that this was your former boss not current boss.

2. I don't think you are being "under concerned" (but I don't think anyone else thinks so either...)

3. Sorry I can't really help with the hypothetical question. Just to join you in hoping it all works out OK.

[Guest Mutts4Me]

[quote name='desertlady']1. Sorry I didn't catch the first time that this was your former boss not current boss.

LOL :) I alternated between "boss" and "former boss" myself. I worked there for over 5 years, between school, and I just haven't gone back to work since the Refuge. But it doesn't matter, because I'm very close to this woman. She's one of the few who've been there as long as myself, and she always gives me a hug when I come back to work, or to visit.

3. Sorry I can't really help with the hypothetical question. Just to join you in hoping it all works out OK.

Sure you can :) Just think about it and give your opinion. I know I've now made a royal mess of this thread, but I just wanted it to be light, and have people think about it. I think most people would naturally think it'd be best to start off with a small dog, and I can see that, but I also have my doubts. Like I said, though, I am biased, so I was interested in hearing others' ideas about the matter, including their own biases :)

*shrugs* I think frogs and toads are cute and will hold them with no fear. I want to own a pair of pet rats so that I can play with them and let them run around on me. That fact makes some people shudder, but I don't share many people's fear of small things. I catch and release bugs that scare the heck outta my sister :) At the same time, I've had the honor of making friends with lions, tigers, and cougars, and I cannot imagine someone being given the chance to pet one and being afraid, but some people would be. Basically, I like animals more than I like people, and don't really "get" people's fear of animals, big or small.

So when I think about someone confronting their fear of dogs, my line of "logic" leads me to think a big, sweet, lumbering couch potato would be less intimidating than a smaller, quicker, yappier dog, no matter how sweet. But I can easily see another person thinking that a big dog would just be... well... too big. Maybe start small and work your way up, I don't know. So I'm just currious as to what others' lines of logic lead them to believe.

[BuddysMom]

Well it is a very intrigeuing question but mind boggling! I will have to think about it but will try, thanks for the encouragement.

It is very interesting that as you point out, we tend to be afraid of little creatures (spiders, mice, etc.) a possible explanation is that these creatures are usually of species more alien (less genetically like humans) than dogs which of course are very much genetically and socially like humans.

I guess that's why it's so hard to wrap my mind around anyone being so deathly afraid of dogs. Did your former boss have a really bad experience with a dog as a child, do you know?

[Seijun]

I am not deathly afraid of dogs, but I am nervous enough of strange dogs that I go out of my way to avoid them (this began happening just within the past few years). The last dog I adopted I hoped would help me over come that fear. It didn't. But I love her to death as well as my other dogs, and I like my neighbor's dogs too, just not dogs I don't know.

~Seij

[Cairn6]

No I don't think a tiny little dog or a big lumbering dog would be good. I think that a small dog somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 to 30 lbs would be the perfect dog to introduce someone who is afraid of dogs. A big dog would be the worst because they would fear they are going to get hurt not to mention this huge thing pulling them around is not going to be appealing at all. Although if having to make a choice between a large or tiny little dog it doesn't make sense to overwhelm a first time owner who is fearful with a big dog so I would go for the tiny one. Even people who like dogs are sometimes afraid of a large dog. I think your going by personal preference you like big dogs your not afraid so it seems logical to you that a big dog would be a good choice. But I don't agree. Who knows maybe it will end up being a good match. I hope so.

[kendalyn]

I don't think the size of the dog matters at all.

I think the disposition of the animal makes all the difference. If I were trying to make someone comfortable with a dog, I would make sure they only had access to very well behaved dogs for a long time. I would make sure they only had positive experiences.

I would avoid any overly enthusiastic, shy, or fearful dog.

[Yoladybug]

I agree that a dog around 20 pounds would be good. I think a big dog could be a problem with someone who's fearful of dogs. Abby is big but not huge (65 pounds) and she occasionally ends up hurting me without meaning to. She gets excited and doesn't realize her strength. This could obviously be very problematic for someone who was already afraid. I think the only way a big dog would be a good idea is if it was older and fairly calm.

My boyfriend used to be pretty scared of dogs. He started looking to adopt one, not entirely to get over his fear, but that was a small part of it. He set out to get a pug, but the adoption didn't work out. He was introduced by the people at the shelter to a pit mix who was scheduled to be put down. They've been best friends ever since :D and he's no longer fearful. So...who knows.

[imported_Kat]

How about loaning this person a dog for a weekend or so and see if they can cope with it. Someone who truly doesn't warm to dogs should get a goldfish or similar!

[imported_nea]

Someone scared of dogs shouldn't have a dog, in my oppinion. As for size, that would depend on the person. If the person in question was easily startled, for example, maybe a small dog would be worse (since it would be less visible than a giant lump). But if for someone scared of being bitten, perhaps they would feel more comfortable around a small "rug" that wouldn't LOOK like it could inflict any damage. :-? And the same goes for most other things, some people might feel more "secure" and "safe" around an active dog, while others might think it better for a dog to be a lazy couch-potato. But once again, I don't think someone affraid of a dog has any right owning one. Even if they'd be ok with it in an everyday sense, what if something were to happen that would spark that fear again, causing the person to not be able to deal with that situation because of his/her fear? Not good, for either the dog, person, or other people and dogs around... :-?

[__crazy_canine__]

K napisał(a):

__crazy_canine__ napisał(a):

I would have to say that a big dog like a Newfie, or a St.B etc, would sound perfect.
.

ERRRR NO!...Big dogs whilst in the puppy stage (which lasts 2+years) are very 'In your face'...they are playful ,rambunctious,eager and attantion seeking...and not a good idea to be even near anyone who has a fear as they will sence this and try to 'right' it in thier own dumbass special way which is climbing into the persons lap and saying "Im a gooood dog...see" :-?

I didnt say a puppy Newfie, I just said Newfie. Any puppy can be hyper...
Adults though of the bigger breeds like these seem to be calmer, at least from what Ive seen, so thats why I said that.

[__crazy_canine__]

Hmmm, as much as I love pit bulls, for someone who is scared of dogs it just doesnt seem like a breed that would be good for that situation.

Wouldnt the licky-licky, hyper, oh-so-happy personality kind of scare the person. :lol: A dog THAT excited to see someone might scare them if theyre not used to it. And not all pit bulls are like that but most of the ones Ive met are.

Kendalyn is right though its more about personailty, not size.
...but bigger dogs usually have the kind of personality youre looking for while small dogs are less imtimidating... kind of hard to choose which because theres always going to be an exception to the majority.

[Guest Mutts4Me]

[quote name='Kat']How about loaning this person a dog for a weekend or so and see if they can cope with it. Someone who truly doesn't warm to dogs should get a goldfish or similar!

Actually, she is getting the dog on loan for the weekend. And, no, she's afraid of fish, too. Not to look at, but she couldn't do water changes.

Thanks for all the replies. I realize it's really hard for people, especially dog people, to look at this as a hypothetical situation because you would be so concerned for the dog, and I clouded it even further by bringing in a real life situation.

My best friend is very nervous around dogs. She was raised around cats, and she was once bitten by a digger dog. Since we've been friends, she's become very fond of my dog, and she enjoys taking Sasha to Petsmart with me. This puts her in a position of confronting her dog issues on a regular basis. I've all but forced her to pet a Rottweiler (her worst fear) and two Pit Bulls (separate tiems), just because of the media hype. (She doesn't have to of course, but I sit and pet them and she feels like she should pet them too ;)) She used to have a strong aversion to tiny dogs and big dogs alike, but since her dad's family has adopted two Dachshunds, she's gotten a lot better with them, also more firm and confident around dogs in general. I don't expect her to ever like dogs as much as she likes cats, but she's more willing to meet, and less incline to run from, dogs now.

I was going to ask her today her take on the size issue, but I forgot.

[courtnek]

I too think a mid-sized dog would be better. but only if it is very mellow, and accomodating, and sweet. She may eventually develop a love for dogs, but for now, she needs one that is absolutely non-threatening in any way. Big dogs are often couch potato's as they age, but like K said they are rambunctious when young and can hurt people accidently. I would thin k an older dog, small to mid-size with a gently personality might help. The fact that her son is there would help too.

[Guest Mutts4Me]

I would thin k an older dog, small to mid-size with a gently personality might help. The fact that her son is there would help too.

:drinking:

Ah, everyone's trying to be so helpful, but I really didn't want help. Nothing "might help" the woman; she just shouldn't own a dog, plain and simple.

:oops:

I suppose I should've just asked the generic, hypothetical question before explaining what prompted me to ask. I understand, though, ya'll (did I just say that?) are concerned about the dog. I can appreciate that, I really can. If it was me, I'd be concerned about the situation, as well.

Thanks to those of you who've tried to answer the question. The general concensus seems to be a medium sized (and of course laid back, lol) dog, and I'm glad to see I might not be crazy for thinking it might be best to avoid little dogs in introducing anyone who's scared of dogs to dogs :)

*beats head into wall* (I looked and couldn't find such an emoticon) It's all my fault, really. I can't manage to ask a simple question; it has to be long and over-complicated. It's okay though, one day I'll learn that not everything's an English paper :)

[__crazy_canine__]

I got what you were asking and I think Im the first who actually answered it. :wink: I still stick by my answer even if its wrong...

[Cairn6]

Here's your emoticon for the future.

[Guest Mutts4Me]

__crazy_canine__ napisał(a):

I got what you were asking and I think Im the first who actually answered it. :wink: I still stick by my answer even if its wrong...

Yes, a few people were able to muddle through it all, thank you :)

Cairn6, hey, I must've missed that! But that poor guy looks so angry, and I'm just frustrated. Ah well.

[imported_Matty]

This reminds me of a guy I know, he was petrified of dogs. He was attacked when he was a child (which left scars) and has held a fear throughout his life. Well, his son in his teenage years broke up with his girlfriend and pleaded his dad for a dog. His dad frigtened to death of dogs flat out said no. His son ended up going out and buying a Lab pup on his own (his son was in his teens). The son found a new girlfriend and his dad ended up with the dog and fell in love with the dopy Lab :lol:

He now is a "dog" person and joins other dog walkers (including myself) for long hikes with "his" dog. He loves the dog to death and the dog helped him get over his fear of dogs. He told me that before getting this lovable Lab that if he saw a dog being walked down the road he would cross to the other side to avoid having to walk past it.

This of course does not happen in every situation, but, in this situation it had a wonderful and happy ending. The Lab is treasured by his owner and his owners wife.

I think humans tend to be afraid of things smaller than themselves. Harmless insects are greeted with terror. As are toads and frogs, who wouldn't dream of hurting a person, just hopping away. Rodents such as hamsters, gerbils, and rats are "icky," even pets who are disease free and actually very friendly. Even I am a little bit afraid of birds. Why are all these things scary? We could literally crush most of them with our own hands or feet (not that I promote that kind of thing).

I think part of our fear of small insects and creepy crawlers is the thought that they could easiely crawl into parts of our body that we don't wish any creature to be. My brother had a spider borrow into his ear one night as he slept. Mice can be dirty and perhaps our age old instinct of avoiding disease infested animals still lays hidden in a primal part of our brain. I hate and dispise most insects, especially after I had an infestation of flying ants in my home. It was disgusting. I think another thing about bugs which bugs us, is when we have them in our home we feel dirty and perhaps feel others will think of us as being dirty.