Dog Rules

[courtnek]

Laurel's foster mom sent me this. You've all seen the quotes, but I included them anyway.

I just got this, it's the same as the rules for foxhounds..
>
> Subject: Dog Rules
>
> 1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a
> specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog
house.
>
> 2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his
own
> house is under renovation.
>
> 3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his
dog
> house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.
>
> 4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to
a
> comfortable but secure metal cage.
>
> 5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog
house
> in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever the hell he pleases.
>
> 6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.
>
> 7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.
>
> 8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the
old
> furniture and then we'll sell the whole damn works and buy new
> furniture...upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.
>
> 9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.
>
> 10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.
>
> 11. Okay, the dog can sleep along side you, but he's not allowed under the
> covers.
>
> 12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on the
> pillow.
>
> 13. Okay, the dog can sleep along side you under the covers with his head
on
> the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.
>
> 14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's
> not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now
sleeping.
> That's just not fair.
>
> 15. The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as "primary
> resident,"
> even if it's
> true..............................................................
>
> The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of
his
> tongue."
> * Anonymous
> -----------------------
> "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
> wonderful."
> *Ann Landers
> -----------------------
> "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they
> went."
> * Will Rogers
> --------------------
> "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
> * Ben Williams (I disagree with this one, a cat will do just as well,
Louise)
> --------------------------
> "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself."
> (again, a cat will do the same)
> * Josh Billings
> -----------------------------
> "The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
> * Andrew A. Rooney
> -------------------------------
> "We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
> And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever
made."
> * M.Facklam
> -----------------------
> "Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who
are
> incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."
> * Sigmund Freud
> -------------------------
> "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
> known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
> * James Thurber
> -------------------------------
> "I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water
> bowl."
> * Penny Ward Moser
> ---------------------------------
> "A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times
> before lying down."
> * Robert Benchley
> --------------------------
> "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult."
> * Rita Rudner
> ---------------------------
> "Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current
> events.The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of
late-breaking dog
> news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in
the
> next yard."
> * Dave Barry
> -----------------------------
> "Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog."
> * Franklin P. Jones
> ------------------------
> "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
> That's almost $21.00 in dog money."
> * Joe Weinstein
> ---------------------------------
> "Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog,
> it's too dark to read."
> * Groucho Marx
> ---------------------------
> "Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from
a
> grocery store with the most amazing haul-chicken, pork, half a cow. They
must
> think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
> * Anne Tyler
> --------------------------
> "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and
get
> used to the idea."
> * Robert A. Heinlein
>

[mouseatthebusstop]

A little different from the normal version I enjoyed it :lol:

[Guest Anonymous]

lol cute