Dear DOG

[Ickle]

In a message dated 14/10/2003 07:57:30 GMT Daylight Time, ROOZRICK writes:

> Dear Dog:
>
> When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with
> each other so there are still two dogs in the way.
>
> The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
> dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
>
> middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food
>
> and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
>
> The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me
> to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall
> faster than you can run.
>
> I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about
> this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your
> comfort. Look at videos of dogs sleeping, they can actually curl up in a
> ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out
>
> to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
>
> and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is
> nothing but doggy sarcasm.
>
> My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
>
> For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
> miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
> necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the
> edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
> entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine
> attendance is not mandatory.
>
> The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot
> stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
>
>
> Signed,
>
> Master-wannabe
>
> Passed on by Ickle

[Taurus and Jada]

:P he he he
that's very cute....
maybe I'll let Taurus and Jada read that and see if they can learn anything
:P
-- the part about sleeping perpendicular on the bed stretched out to the fullest is especially true at our house!!

[Malamum]

The stairway was not designed by Nascar and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the
edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine
attendance is not mandatory

Those two are my favourite - they describe Indy perfectly.