courtnek Posted September 7, 2003 Posted September 7, 2003 When I adopted her, Kyle was living with his dad. He just came back to live with me again....and she is really afradi of him for some reason. He is a teenager, loud, boisterous, and always has at least six kids with him at any one time. But she has taken to hiding in my room, squishing herself into the smallest corner available, and wont come out unless I pull her by her collar (had to do that to get her to go outside this morning) When outside, she hides behind the shed and I have to pull her out of there as well. I am really concerned - Freebee grew up with him and so knows him, but she is really afraid of him...I emailed the foster mom and am waiting for a response..... He is not a bad kid, he would never hurt a dog, they havent really had a chance to meet and get to know one another (since he is out with his friends all the time)...Do you all think I should be worried? I DONT want to have to take her back - no one else will adopt her, I can practically guarantee that.... His coming back was a last minute decision by his dad, who he doesnt get along with. If I could get him to sit still long enough to get to know her, we might be ok..... :cry: Quote
Guest Anonymous Posted September 7, 2003 Posted September 7, 2003 i would try to introduce them.. get them in he same room and show her that he is not as bad as she thinks. maybe i nher past she was abused by a teenager.. it should all work out if you have them introduced! Quote
mouseatthebusstop Posted September 7, 2003 Posted September 7, 2003 at a guess I would say she has been treated badly by a teenager, give it time I am sure it will work out. When your son has the time to sit with her talk to her and give her treats. Quote
DogPaddle Posted September 7, 2003 Posted September 7, 2003 Let your son now how important it would be for him to have at least 15 minutes of quiet time with you and Laurel. It took Laurel a bit of time to adjust to being with you right (although her reaction was not this extreme) she managed that, with work she will probably be fine with your son. Quote
Angelboddy Posted September 8, 2003 Posted September 8, 2003 I would get your son to sit down and have a few minites of quit time with her. Since they have not ever met, and he has never sat down and gave her some time, she could just be scared of the fact that she has not been accepted from him yet. She is still kinda new to the home, so anything still might scare her. Like everyone else said..........Just give her time and she will come around. :D Quote
imported_Cassie Posted September 9, 2003 Posted September 9, 2003 For one thing, just because a dog is timid does not mean it has been abused...all of my Newfoundland dogs came from a female breeder with little contact with men (except at shows) when these dogs came to live with me they were frightened of men...a man would have them hiding in my bedroom shaking of fright...any thing a dog has not been conditioned to during its critical period usually before 16 weeks and has never been around a rowdy teenage person...well, this can be very scary...dogs are natural hazard avoiders...if they think it might hurt them, they will avoid it.. .one of my Newf's seeing me carry in a sack of potatoes sent it into a terror fit!!! it had never seen some one carry pototoes and the kennel life it grew up in did not help any as the dog never learned to be confident enough to explore things first...now, with my Rottweiler; she is a whole different story; although she had not been socialized properly before I got her...she is very bold and will investigate first. First as I am sure you already know as I have read your previous posts; you are a very knowledgable person when it comes to dogs...you really have to first build Laurel's confidence and don't force her to get to know your son...let her do this in her own time...spend a quiet evening with your son perhaps watching movies and leave Laurel in your room hiding...she may, but probably won't get curious enough to come out and investigate...ask you son to ignore Laurel and do not try to force his attention on her...and just go about life as usual as if the dog isn't there. I lived with a man for quite some time which one of my Newf's was very frightened of...I did not force her to get to know him...after what seemed months and months she started slinking out and sniffing his legs etc. I know it seems like a tough situation...but, with time I'm sure you can work this out...I would definately have a quiet place for Laurel to get away from it all...and don't expect that she will warm up to your son or his freinds any time soon... Perhaps if there is an activity like say for example going for walks that Laurel really loves...perhaps put her on lead and ask your son to come for a walk with you...of course I wouldn't force some thing like this any time soon. You can also talk to an animal behaviorist or an obedience trainer who may be able to help you build Laurel's confidence and give you more advice. Quote
Carolk9s Posted September 9, 2003 Posted September 9, 2003 tell your son that you really need his help on a difficult problem, kind of appeal to his ego. explain that Laurel needs to learn to know him in the quietest, least stressful way first then gradually get used to a normal teenagers boisterous ways. ask him if he can possibly help you out with this. maybe once she is somewhat less shy of him, ask him if he will feed her or just randomly (at first) treat her. let her slowly begin to see him as a source of GOOD things. maybe if she can see him sitting quietly on the floor with Freebee just stroking and talking softly to him that will help. I agree with taking it slow and don't force it, perhaps if he sees winning her over as a nice little project that will take a bit of time and patience it will all work out. Quote
courtnek Posted September 10, 2003 Author Posted September 10, 2003 thanks everyone for your responses. I talked to the woman who worked her when she lived in the kennel, and Cassie and Carol have hit it right on the head. She (and none of the other hounds) are really "socialized" with people when puppies. They are encouraged to bond to the pack, and obey their handlers. That's why they wont adopt them out to homes that dont have at least one other dog. They are more comfortable around animals. She also said that I should not force her. Let her decide when she wants to come out and get to know him and his friends. She has a secure place in my room, where I set up her bed behind the end, and when I'm in there she stays in there with me. When I'm not home, she goes upstairs and sleeps behind the dresser in the hallway, so she has two safe places. She seems ok with that. Kyle tried to bribe her with a french fry today, but while she came into the room, she didnt want the fry. So little by little she is getting more adjusted. They said it could take a month to 6 weeks before she's really comfortable, and feels like this is home. Everytime I look at her, I am more convinced that if I hadnt taken her, she would never have been adopted. I am NOT taking her back, she's mine now, and I will make sure she likes it here.... Quote
courtnek Posted September 10, 2003 Author Posted September 10, 2003 First as I am sure you already know as I have read your previous posts; you are a very knowledgable person when it comes to dogs thank you. I thought I was, until I adopted Laurel. But every other dog I have owned/trained has had Alpha problems. not Omega problems. It's a whole new ball game. I am accustomed to training dogs, and teaching people, how to handle the "too-big-for-their-britches" Alpha dogs.. No one has ever brought me an Omega, so it's new territory for me. Live and Learn!! And I am... I have found that leaving a short lead on Laurel has helped. She seemed to resent being dragged out of her hiding places by the collar, maybe felt frightened because too close to the neck...but she is OK on the short lead. I can tug gently on the lead and she will follow me, and do what I want, instead of fighting the tugging on the collar...I learn as I go... I had major issues with getting her down the stairs by the collar, but once the lead is on she will walk quite nicely and peaceably... I have to pull her out to make her go outside, she does have to "go" but I got tired of having to climb behind the shed to get her out every night. The lead seems to help. She seems to feel more comfortable with it on....maybe, like I said, because my hand is not close to her collar. She appears to really like me,. wags her tail and such, but is still afraid of my son and his friends, which I realize will take time now. The lead appears to help, she does not mind being led around on it, and actually seems a little happier on it then led by the collar. Thanks EVERYONE!! I reallt needed some help with this one.... :D :D :D :D Quote
Horsefeathers! Posted September 10, 2003 Posted September 10, 2003 courtnek napisał(a):He is a teenager, loud, boisterous, and always has at least six kids with him at any one time. I almost didn't post what I'm thinking only because I don't want it to sound like I'm being a smart*ss. Is there any way to rearrange your son's social time with his friends so that there isn't so much going on in the house at one time? Perhaps Laurel might just feel overwhelmed. I'm just thinking that if she's afraid of him, several more "hims" at one time is likely sensory overload. Maybe I am misunderstanding? Again, I don't mean it in any kind of sarcastic way. I know that's your son's home, too, but maybe he would be willing to compromise just temporarily until Laurel has a little time to adjust? Perhaps when she is more trusting of him, she will be more trusting of others who favor him. I hope this came out the way I intended it. I thought of this when you first posted, but I figured I'd spit it out all wrong. :-? Quote
courtnek Posted September 11, 2003 Author Posted September 11, 2003 Not likely..... I;m at work all day, and they are all over here all afternoon.... She's getting better a little bit every day though Quote
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