Deez Posted August 1, 2003 Posted August 1, 2003 WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: Would you both sleep in our bed? HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep? WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers? HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs? HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed. WIFE: - - - silence - - - HUSBAND: !Shit! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- A driver is stopped by a police officer. The driver asks, "What's the problem officer?" Officer: "You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone." Man: "No sir, I was going 65." Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80." (The man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light." Man: "Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!" Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks." (The man gives his wife another dirty look.) Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt." Man: "Oh I just took it off when you were walking up to the car." Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt." The man turns to his wife and yells, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" The Officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, does your husband talk to you this way all the time?" The wife says, "No, only when he's drunk." :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.