Serious Advice Needed

[Mary's Mama]

I have never owned a dog that lived to old age. Bo is not getting better. Everytime we get one illness under control another one comes along, old ones come back. It is starting to get to the point that my husband is having thoughts it might be that time.

He has a very hard time with it, which is very understandable. He says he can't bring himself to give Bo a death sentence, that he would rather see him go naturally. But he also doesn't want him to suffer or prolong the inevitable.

I have known for some time that this day was coming soon. I dont know how to support my husband. I dont know what to say to make him feel better. I dont know what advice to give.

Last night we found that his umbilical hernia (which he has had since birth with no problems) looks like it is going to rupture. This is what sent Zack over the line. He says we could fix it, but what would be next and how soon till something else happens. Also he is having increasing trouble walking and getting up. He looks lost and confused. It is very sad but I think it really his time.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can help my husband through this. He got Bo when he was 12 years old and they are best friends. I can't imagine how painful this must be for both of them.

Here is a link to Bo's webpage. He is such a sweet boy. http://www.jrtzone.com/kingsqueens&jacks/Bo.htm

[ellieangel]

Wow that is so sad I really don't know what to say except follow your heart.
I think you know deep down that it will be you and hubby who have to make the decision here, nature won't always deal with it for you :(
It must be the most heartrending decision that anyone can make for their pet,I'm thankful that I haven't had to do that yet,and hopefully won't have to for a very long time :-?
Have you asked your vet for advice ?
I'm sorry that you are having to go through this (((hugs))).

[behle]

Bo is lovely! Here is a poem I found that may speak to your husband. I have just had to make the same painful decision for my sweet rottie although he was only my companion for five and a half years... :(

From a Grateful Dog

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic that will
Once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.
That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner till the end.
Please, understand just what this gift
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it, too.
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever-faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
... a young dog once again.


Please know that you and your family are in our hearts and minds as you go through this difficult time.

[Daisysmom]

That was beautiful behle, makes it hard to write after that :cry:

My comment, after just going through this in February too (16 1/2 sheltie mix, Trixie) is the dog will know when it is time. If he doesnt' seem to enjoy life any more, and you are only prolonging their life for your pleasure, then it is time. If they don't or can't do the things they used to do, it is time, and you will know it too.

It is a very hard decision to make, and when you do, know that it really is the right decision for the dog. See if the vet can come to your home, that's how we did it with Trixie and it was best. You don't have to pass an entire room full of people on your way out the door during a very private time.

Good luck, I will be thinking of you.

[ellieangel]

Behle that poem was lovely :cry:
Great advice everyone :(

[Angelboddy]

I wish for only the best. :angel:
And hope everything will go ok, whatever the choice may be. :(
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[courtnek]

Behles poem says it all - sometimes we have to make the hard decisions
for them, because they cant make them themselves. I have had to put a few dogs down, so I know how your hubby feels.

In the end, the quality of life is more important than the quantity or length. Keeping him alive when he is in pain, not happy, and not really functional
does him no service at all. It is better, as his best friend and companion, to let him go, even tho it hurts down to the bone.

He will not hold it against your hubby....he will not feel betrayed. He will be free and happy, and out of pain....that's the best thing you can both do for him now. If it helps, tell your hubby that they will inject him with an
overdose of pain killers, basically, and he will drift off to sleep and then go to the Rainbow Bridge. He wont feel a thing. And they will let you stay with him throughout the whole procedure, to hold him till the end. If they wont, find another vet!!!

I am so sorry for you and your hubby. This is one of those hard spots in life....and having been there I understand.

:(

[Mary's Mama]

DH has made his decision and we have scheduled an appt at the vets for Monday morning. He is a complete mess and I am doing my best to console him. Everyone here is very sad.

Thank you for all your thoughts, they were very helpful.
:cry:

[Daisysmom]

We will all be thinking of you on Monday :cry:

[behle]

It will be hard, but in the midst of your sorrow remember that all of us are with you in spirit on Monday and in the days to follow..

Treasure the next two days with sweet Bo....

[Marble]

i am really sorry to hear about bo, but i think you are doing what is best for him, i've had to do the same twice and it is not easy. i'll pray for you and your husband

[mouseatthebusstop]

Mary's Mama I am so sorry to hear about Bo as K said we will share your pain,
Having an older dog myself I would not put her though an operation now you are doing the right thing

[bk_blue]

I'm so sorry to hear such heartbreaking news Mary's Mama. Will be thinking of you all on Monday. :cry: :cry: :cry:

[marion]

So sorry to hear about Bo. :cry: You can only be there for your husband, it's heartbreaking as Behle can tell you, :cry: having to go through it so recently herself. All our thoughts will be with you on Monday. :(

[imported_Cassie]

Mary's Mama I am so sorry to hear about Bo...my thoughts will be with you on Monday. :cry:
I have made this trip with many of my senior dogs..once they have stopped enjoying life it is unfair to let them suffer...all of my dogs have told me when its time to go....my 2 Newf's I had put down before X-mas...one was 14 going on 15 years she had an enlarged heart the other was only 9 and had bone cancer...all of my dogs had given me the look...their eyes said it all...they had the sad look saying... I just can't do this any more...I stayed with my dogs until the end...and I am glad I had another person with me to drive me home..after they went it was just me & one Newf and my Rottie left (and 3 cats)....I have since gotten 3 more Newf's...and although they will never replace the ones I have lost...they have made new spots in my heart....