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This May Make You Smile

Ickle

By Ickle
in Everything about dogs

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Ickle Newbie

Ickle

Posted
Posted

Sent from the Internet (Details)


This might make you smile
> Subject: Letters Dogs Write to God
>
> >Dear God,
> >Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
> >Where are their priorities?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old
story?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >Why are cars named for the eagle, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the
stingray, the rabbit, etc., but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you
see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be
so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he
still a bad dog?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
> >
> >Dear God,
> >When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at
the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the
Schnauzer across the street.
> >
> >Dear God,
> >Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields and
Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >May I have my testicles back?
> >
> >Dear God,
> >These are just some of the things I must remember (in order to keep my
present living arrangements):
> >- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
> >- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the
coffee table.
> >- I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the
bed.
> >- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
> >- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
up.
> >- I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in
the house when I am about to get sick.
> >- I will not throw up in the car.
> >- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.
> >- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they
are tasty, they are not food.
> >- I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in
the back yard after processing.
> >- I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes and not tell them.
> >- I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my
people will think I am hemorrhaging.
> >- When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
when it's raining outside.
> >- We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on
television.
> >- I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard
with them.
> >- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
> >- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
> >- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's
driver's license and registration.
> >- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.
> >- I will not roll around in the dirt right after getting a bath.
> >- Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of
saying 'hello.'
> >- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when
company is over.
> >- The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that
noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Ickle

Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

Posted
Posted

:lol: :lol:
I saw this one before, but a bit different. The things the dog won't do I saw as a different joke. Then at the bottom of the Dogs Letters To God there was "Cat's Letters to God" and it was like:
"Dear God,
Do you really exist? I don't really care, I'm just curious."
:lol: :roll:

jen Newbie

jen

Posted
Posted

:roflt: :megagrin: :haha: :grins: :jumpie: :laugh2_2: :banan: :thumbs: :multi: :P :B-fly:
i especialy like the one about eating what`s been deposited in the cats litter tray :eating: :lol: :lol:

courtnek Newbie

courtnek

Posted
Posted

I dont have a coffee table, but Alex was so tall at the shoulder that if he stood up under the dining room table it was precarious!! :D

The kitty box one applies here...

and the cat with the attitude - DEFINITELY MY cat!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

(one of my close friends calls it "cattitude...)

Guest Anonymous

Guest Anonymous

Posted
Posted

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I
like the way they smell.


lmao, that one made me laugh so hard, it gave me a visual of mimi... shes a roller... she will swipe her face against any icky thing outside..and then have the nerve to want a kissy no way! EEEwwww :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Aroura Newbie

Aroura

Posted
Posted

HAHAHAHA -------- I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll have one Beagle Chrysler please :wink:

Oh, and that dream Ducatti I've always wanted (that one Trinity was riding in The Matris Reloaded...) ...... forget that, I'll take a Dudoggi!!!! :lol:

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