Ickle Posted January 16, 2003 Posted January 16, 2003 Daisymom That one is worthy of Five stars. Excellent :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Ickle Quote
Guest roo Posted January 25, 2003 Posted January 25, 2003 A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet fussed the dog and took it out, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably ..... dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. " Quote
Guest Anonymous Posted January 25, 2003 Posted January 25, 2003 How funny!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Wonder if I could rent Jac out to do "Lab work"! :lol: :lol: Quote
yellowlabsrule Posted January 25, 2003 Posted January 25, 2003 Jacsmom napisał(a):How funny!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Wonder if I could rent Jac out to do "Lab work"! :lol: :lol: How about Winnie to! :lol: Quote
wildbunch Posted January 25, 2003 Posted January 25, 2003 :lol: :lol: :lol: Love it. Thanks for the laugh! Quote
Marble Posted January 28, 2003 Posted January 28, 2003 Jacsmom napisał(a):How funny!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Wonder if I could rent Jac out to do "Lab work"! :lol: :lol: if i did that with dresden she'd try to eat it......very funny joke Quote
Guest Anonymous Posted January 28, 2003 Posted January 28, 2003 He He He....My vet actually has two labradors....I think I'll have to ask her where she gets her second opinions from :lol: Quote
Prairie_Gurl Posted March 8, 2003 Posted March 8, 2003 Here's a joke that I found on the internet... if only it worked. LOL. Dear Dog Owner, Are you experiencing too many reserves and 2nd places to inferior animals in the dog show ring? In the agility and/or obedience ring, does your dog forget his own name? Well, this simple chain letter is meant to bring relief and happiness to you. Unlike most chain letters, it doesn't cost money. Simply send a copy to six other dog owners who are dissatisfied with the way their dogs are working and showing. Also bundle up your dog and send him/her to the dog owner at the top of this list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. Do not use a return address or the post office may try to contact you. In one week, you will receive 16,436 dogs, and at least one of them should be a keeper. Have faith in this letter. Do not break the chain. One owner broke the chain and got his own dog back. Quote
Prairie_Gurl Posted March 9, 2003 Posted March 9, 2003 LOL. We can trade... I'll take Paddy and you can take Shadow. LOL Quote
Rowie-the-Pooh Posted March 10, 2003 Posted March 10, 2003 I love the end 'specially! How cute! :angel: Thanks Prairie_girl! :D :D :D Quote
Prairie_Gurl Posted March 26, 2003 Posted March 26, 2003 THINGS A DOG MUST REMEMBER: 1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 2. I should not suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa, or under the bed. 4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house. 5. I will not eat the cats' food, either before they eat it or after they throw it up. 6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to be sick. 7. I will not throw up in the car. 8. When at the beach, I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. no matter how good they smell. 9. Kitty box crunches, although tasty, are not food. 10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then re-deposit them after processing, in the back yard. 11. The nappy bin is not a cookie jar. 12. My humans' toothbrushes are for the exclusive use of my humans. If they want me to have one, they'll get me one. 13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, so that when I throw up, my people will not assume I am hemorrhaging. 14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down on rainy days. 15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. 16. I will not steal Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with it. 17. The sofa is not a face towel, neither are Mom & Dad's laps. 18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration. 20. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 21. To avoid having a string hang out of my butt, I will not eat mint-flavored dental floss out of the bathroom garbage. 22. I will not consider rolling around in the dirt a necessity first thing after getting a bath. 23. I will remember that sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way to greet visitors. 24. I will not fart in my owner's face while I am sleeping on the pillow next to their heads. 25. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. 26. I will not consider the toilet bowl a magical, never-ending water supply, in spite of clear evidence that it is. 27. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is here. 28. I will remember that suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly clear a room, and is thus to be avoided. Except when in-laws are here. 29. The cat is not a squeaky toy, so when I play with him and when he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. 30. Even though he's too chicken to come on Sundays, the mailman WILL be back and I'll have another shot at him. Quote
Guest Anonymous Posted March 27, 2003 Posted March 27, 2003 :lol: :lol: I should print this out for Hazel!! 'Pecially this one: The cat is not a squeaky toy, so when I play with him and when he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. Quote
Prairie_Gurl Posted March 27, 2003 Posted March 27, 2003 lol. Talk about it! Shadow needs to know just about all of um!! Quote
Malamum Posted March 27, 2003 Posted March 27, 2003 Love it!!! Gave me a good giggle :lol: I can definitely relate to quite a few of those Quote
courtnek Posted March 27, 2003 Posted March 27, 2003 :D :D :D LOL My dogs need to learn all of them! Except the cat one - my cat wont let them make him squeak - if they try - he exacts a horrible judgement... Quote
DogPaddle Posted March 27, 2003 Posted March 27, 2003 :lol: :lol: :lol: My dogs need to learn all of them! Except the cat one - my cat wont let them make him squeak - if they try - he exacts a horrible judgement... My cats are fully armed (have their claws.) When Kavik was younger he had a permanent red dot on the tip of his nose - Mroo has good aim. Quote
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