The dog judge (acd)

[bk_blue]

Some doggy humour... slightly adapted to ACDs but applies to anything! :D

GENERAL APPEARANCE: The first impression of a good judge is that of a
tough-minded, but fair, alert, but gentle, man or woman. Muscular fitness and
nimbleness are desirable, but not mandatory....soft living seems unavoidable.
The judge should neither be too tall nor too short. If as a rule of thumb, he
must sink to his knees to pet the dog, he is probably too tall. On the other
hand, if he must jump into the air to check the testicles, he is probably too
short. Measurements should be taken from the top of the head with the hair
parted or so pushed down that it will show the actual height of the frame or
structure of the judge. A judge of
desirable size and proper flesh should average between 70 and 340 pounds,
depending primarily upon sex and how fat he/she is. The judge should be stamped
with a look of nobility and justice- difficult to define, but unmistakable after
the show. The good judge has a consistent personality marked by a direct and
fearless, but not hostile, expression of self-confidence and that certain
aloofness which does not lend itself to immediate and indiscriminate
friendships...or at least does not belie such friendships until later back at
the motel.

COAT: In a cold climate, the judge should be equipped with a double coat - the
underwear may vary with the season. At no time, however, should a judge
shed in the ring.

PROPORTIONS: The most desirable proportion for a judge is 38-23-36; however, you
may settle for 23-23-23; or, as I have seen at times, 22-35-48.

PIGMENT: Let's not get into this again...All colors are permissible. I have not
personally seen a blue judge, but there's always a first time.

GAIT: Judges who tend to motivate on all fours should be avoided, as should
those who stagger and fall down a lot. Forward motion should be achieved
by placing one foot in front of the other...hopping is also permitted and, in
fact, makes for a livelier show.

STANCE: While viewing the dogs, the judge should stand in the center of the
ring, feet spread as at "parade rest," the right hand should be held
firmly in the left armpit with the left had crossing over and tucked into the
right armpit The chin must be tucked solidly into the chest; eyes squinting.
Once the judge has assumed this position, the ring steward should count the
number of times the class circles. If that count should exceed twenty, he
then might unobtrusively move out from his position to the judge's side and
check his condition. Older, more experienced judges have been known to doze off
in this position, while younger specimens, particularly the members of the
party-going set, might still be so gassed from the pre-show
festivities that they have passed out.

MINOR FAULTS:

MUTE -- It is better if a judge can speak in audible tones. His vocabulary may
be limited to phrases like: "Loose lead," "Walk them," or "One more
time," and the numbers one through four must be heard. If this is impossible, a
set of flash cards should be provided.

TOTAL BLINDNESS -- Using a totally blind judge is just a drag. The show must be
held on concrete so that he can hear the dogs gait. Besides, some wise
guy will always show up with a Border Collie and take the points.

DISQUALIFYING FAULTS: Judges who point, whoop and holler, or who laugh
hysterically at the exhibitor entering the ring with a particularly poor
specimen, are to be disqualified. Likewise, judges who delay the proceedings
while the handlers make out checks payable to him, in the ring, are not
permitted to participate further. Any judge who attacks a handler in the ring
(bite he/she, she/him, he/him, or whatever) is to be warned three times
in writing after which he must be dismissed. As in the obedience competition,
any judges relieving themselves in the ring are to be expelled therefrom.

[Hobbit]

:lol:

[Ickle]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[mouseatthebusstop]

I will remember all those points next time we show :D :D

[Bensam]

Love it, BK :lol: :lol: